Tag Archives: memories

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I've had the bulk of this post just sitting here because I wasn't sure how to preface it. I wrote about three different intros, and they all had to do with being eleven, and it was slightly disjointed and a little strange, and I just wasn't happy with it.

And then I remembered . . . nine years ago today . . . a Starbucks that no longer exists, a rainy night, a doodled-on coffee cup, a handsome boy, and a "yes" finally leaving my lips after literally months and months of praying.

Eric and I met at a Starbucks so I could give him the answer to the question he'd asked two days earlier.

The answer was absolutely yes, and we've been together ever since. 🙂

Those were wonderful days. Dating was wonderful. Being engaged was pretty good, too. Being newly married was amazing.

And then came the children, and more tastes of real life, but guess what . . . I didn't ever want to go back to those dating days or even those newly married days.

This life right here is my favorite yet.

And that's where the feeling an affinity to being eleven came in.

When I was eleven, I wasn't yet interested in the future . . . in driving or graduating or working or boys or marriage or children. I wasn't looking forward to anything major. I also wasn't old enough to be very interested in the past . . . to look back at anything with nostalgia. I was just living in the moment, happy with what I had right then and there.

I kind of feel like I’m there again. I'm not waiting for anything major. Not to graduate; I’ve done that. Not to date; I’ve done that. Not to get married; I’ve very, very happily done that. Not to have children; I’ve done that. There's really nothing major that I'm waiting for (except maybe having a daughter, but that doesn't count because I do have my boys).

And any looking back that I do, while done with fondness, is with the understanding that nothing I ever had before can top everything I have now.

I guess that’s why they call it the good old days.

Not looking forward, not looking back. There’s not some time in the past that I wish I could return to. I'm not chomping at the bit to get to some time in the future. Right here, right now, is just fine with me.

These are the days I'll miss.

These are the good old days.

What an incredible privilege to get to live them in peace and quietness. ...continue reading →

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I've had a story on my mind for a while now, a story from a year ago that I had decided I'd like to write out and post exactly a year after it happened. Well, I got my dates wrong, and by the time I realized my mistake that one-year mark was past. So I guess it can be a year to the month instead. 🙂

It's kind of a crazy story, about an absurdly hard day I had with my boys, and I couldn't quite decide if I should even share it. I wrote it out and read it to my boys, and at first they were all enthusiastic about me sharing it.

But then they actually heard the story, and they heard what their old selves had done, and those vibrant smiles got a little more sober, and the laughter came a little more haltingly, and at the end when I asked again if they minded if I shared it, they both immediately shouted no.

Alec said, with big, somber eyes, "Word would spread."

Oh, dear boy . . . I am no advocate for sharing dirt on my children, no matter how naughty they can be sometimes.

I reassured the boys that I would make sure people knew that these were things they had done when they were much younger and that I was so glad they didn't do things like that anymore. I told them they had grown up a lot since then and that I would make sure people knew that.

But I also really wanted to share the story because the more I thought about it, the more I thought maybe it could be encouraging to another mother in the same shoes. Not just a "this too shall pass," not just a "been there done that," but an honest "what you're doing is really, really hard, and it doesn't always feel like you're doing it well, and it often feels like it will never end, but it will get easier, and your children will grow in both age and maturity, and there will be different challenges as that happens, but it won't always be this level of unending crazy." ...continue reading →

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This might be one of the strangest, most frivolous, most time-wasting posts I’ve ever done, but oh my goodness, if you ever happen to be in another country and your husband does a bunch of work on one of the coolest houses in existence, by all means don’t go looking at the real estate listing for said property six years later. You might just have to go see it for yourself.

And if you can’t go see it, you might just have to show random house pictures to random blog-readers in hopes of satiating your excitement about it.

Because just look at this beautiful place. We lived here for seven and a half weeks. ...continue reading →

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I hung up Eric’s work shirts the other morning. One of them was a lime green polo. And I thought to myself, This is the shirt I met Eric in.

It seemed a bit unreal, that we'd ever actually met, that we haven’t always known each other.

But I remember that night so clearly. We were playing volleyball in our school gym, and I was at the far side of the court from the entrance. I heard the doors open and close, and before I looked up, I smelled cologne. All the way across the gym.

And there was that lime green shirt. ...continue reading →

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I don’t know if I’ve ever slept so little in my entire life. Alec is on a no-sleep kick at night, and getting more than a two-or-three-hour stretch of sleep is about unheard of these days.

Maybe that’s why I was thinking of how life used to be. Long ago, longer ago, and not-so-long ago. I love looking back. I love memories. The past always looks more enchanted to me than it actually was, but in thinking of it today I realized that the days really do just get better and better. I wouldn’t trade what I have now for what I had then, not for the world.

...continue reading →